People often say that those in love get ill less often. The reality is more nuanced: studies mostly look at social connection in general, and they show associations, not proof of cause and effect. This article reviews what is known, the limits of the data, how to nurture your relationships and when to ask for help.
Do people in love really get ill less often?
None of the sources consulted shows that being in love protects against illness. The available research mostly concerns social connection in a broad sense (partner, family, friends, neighbourhood), not the feeling of love itself.
It is also based on observation: health status and level of social connection are seen to go together, without it being possible to say that one causes the other. In its report on social isolation and loneliness, the American Heart Association notes, for example, that behaviours such as a poor diet, inactivity or smoking, as well as social and environmental factors, may explain part of the link observed.
What the large studies show
- A meta-analysis published in PLoS Medicine in 2010, covering 148 studies and 308,849 participants, links stronger social relationships to a higher likelihood of survival (odds ratio of 1.50). The authors consider this effect comparable to that of well-established mortality risk factors (PLoS Medicine). It is an association between observational studies.
- The Harvard Study of Adult Development, begun in 1938 with 724 participants, concludes that good relationships go hand in hand with greater happiness and better health. Its director restates its conclusions, but the article consulted does not detail its methodological limits (Harvard Gazette).
- According to the WHO Commission on Social Connection, about one in six people worldwide is affected by loneliness, which is associated with about 871,000 deaths a year (WHO).
Social isolation and loneliness: what risks are associated?
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) distinguish social isolation (having few relationships or contacts with others) from loneliness (the feeling of being alone or disconnected, which reflects the gap between actual and desired connection). They state that either can increase the risk of heart disease and stroke, type 2 diabetes, depression and anxiety, dementia and early death (CDC).
The American Heart Association links social isolation and loneliness to a 29% higher risk of heart attack or death from heart disease and a 32% higher risk of stroke. For dementia or cognitive decline, it considers the evidence scarce or contradictory (American Heart Association).
Stress, sleep, heart: mechanisms still debated
According to the WHO, strong social ties would reduce inflammation, protect mental health and lower the risk of early death; lonely people have twice the risk of depression (WHO). These effects are plausible, but it remains hard to separate the contribution of the connection itself from that of lifestyle and baseline health.
The Harvard findings concern “good” relationships, so it is wise not to conclude that simply being in a couple protects, or that a single person who is well supported would be at a disadvantage.
How can you nurture your relationships?
The WHO suggests simple actions at the individual level (WHO):
- get in touch with someone close to you;
- put your phone down during a conversation;
- say hello to a neighbour;
- join a local group or volunteer;
- if needed, find out about available support services.
This advice applies to partners as much as to friends and family: what matters is the quality of presence, not the number of contacts.
When should you talk to a health professional?
Talk to a doctor or health professional if loneliness or isolation lasts, if you feel sad or anxious all the time, or if you have thoughts of self-harm or suicide: the WHO stresses that loneliness can cause anxiety and such thoughts (WHO).
A relationship should not harm your health. According to the WHO, about 1 in 3 women (31.6%) worldwide have experienced physical and/or sexual violence from a partner or sexual violence from a non-partner in their lifetime. Such violence can lead to injuries, depression, post-traumatic stress, anxiety and sleep problems (WHO). If this affects you, you can talk to a health professional, a women’s rights organisation or a national helpline; if you are in immediate danger, contact the emergency services.
Further reading at La Rose Clinic
Frequently asked questions
Does being in a relationship really protect against illness?
Studies show an association between strong social ties and better health, but they are observational and do not prove cause and effect. They concern social connection in general, not only couples.
What is the difference between social isolation and loneliness?
Social isolation means a lack of relationships or contacts, while loneliness is the feeling of being alone or disconnected. You can experience one without the other.
What can I do if I feel lonely?
Getting back in touch with someone close, joining a local group or volunteering can help. If the feeling persists or comes with intense sadness, see a health professional.
Where can I find help if I experience violence in a relationship?
From a health professional, a women’s rights organisation or a national helpline. If you are in immediate danger, contact the emergency services.
References
- Social connection linked to improved health and reduced risk of early death (who.int)
- Health effects of social isolation and loneliness (cdc.gov)
- Social isolation, loneliness can damage heart and brain health, report says (heart.org)
- Things money can’t buy, like happiness and better health (Harvard Gazette) (news.harvard.edu)
- Social relationships and mortality risk: a meta-analytic review (PLoS Medicine, 2010) (doaj.org)
- Violence against women (fact sheet) (who.int)
This article is for information only. It does not replace a medical consultation: if in doubt, talk to your doctor.
